We are pretty solitary people my mom and dad and I. Porsha is the crazy social one, she loves everyone and always wants to make friends. I know mom wishes she was like Porsha sometimes just easy going, friendly and not worried about anything much.
You would think because of the way my mom and dad look and the job they do that they would be crazy fun party animals or something. Most people that become our friends seem to either want something for free or they think we will be crazy fun to party with. Haha the jokes on them. First what mom and dad do they do it to make a living so they very rarely give it away for free. They used to though. If you were a good friend they would give free stuff to you for your birthdays or even a lot just cause it made them feel good to be able to give and it made the other person happy. Now not so much, been used and tossed away like so much garbage to many times to remember. Then there are the times people showed up on there birthdays got there free stuff and then when mom or dad would invite them to a birthday party for each other everyone is OMG just toooo busssy that day, even if you suggest several different days! Or another one is when they get what they want and then they find a reason to be mad and stop talking to you and being your friend. It is a great way to get out of returning a favour, or a free gift. A lot of 'friends' over the years have gotten so cocky about the 'surprise spur of the moment free birthday gifts' that they even start asking 'what can I get this year for my birthday?' Totally forgetting that they were 'just way to busssy' to attend mom and dads birthdays the year before. All this just reinforcing my dads outlook 'people are only nice to you when they want something' that my mom has been trying to change for years. Then they wonder why mom and dad quit talking to them. So I guess if mom and dad wanted a ton of friends to make themselves feel special and needed they sure could have them, but they would have to become dumb to overlook the fact that all these precious special friends where using them.
You would think because of the way my mom and dad look and the job they do that they would be crazy fun party animals or something. Most people that become our friends seem to either want something for free or they think we will be crazy fun to party with. Haha the jokes on them. First what mom and dad do they do it to make a living so they very rarely give it away for free. They used to though. If you were a good friend they would give free stuff to you for your birthdays or even a lot just cause it made them feel good to be able to give and it made the other person happy. Now not so much, been used and tossed away like so much garbage to many times to remember. Then there are the times people showed up on there birthdays got there free stuff and then when mom or dad would invite them to a birthday party for each other everyone is OMG just toooo busssy that day, even if you suggest several different days! Or another one is when they get what they want and then they find a reason to be mad and stop talking to you and being your friend. It is a great way to get out of returning a favour, or a free gift. A lot of 'friends' over the years have gotten so cocky about the 'surprise spur of the moment free birthday gifts' that they even start asking 'what can I get this year for my birthday?' Totally forgetting that they were 'just way to busssy' to attend mom and dads birthdays the year before. All this just reinforcing my dads outlook 'people are only nice to you when they want something' that my mom has been trying to change for years. Then they wonder why mom and dad quit talking to them. So I guess if mom and dad wanted a ton of friends to make themselves feel special and needed they sure could have them, but they would have to become dumb to overlook the fact that all these precious special friends where using them.
Then there are all the people who think that because my mom and dad look the way they do and because of what business they own and what they do that they must be crazy fun party animals! These people only want to be around them if they are livening up the party, which I have to tell you my mom and dad do so much of...... NOT hahaha! Sure they will go out with 'friends' and play nice and pretend that's what they do but when you really don't do that all the time it becomes hard to keep up the front if you know what I mean. First of all my dad does not drink or do drugs of any kind ever. Oh ya he used to but that is another story, now he does not. My mom has a some drinks once in awhile but not all the time so you can imagine how hard it would be to fit in with a 'party' crowd when you just don't do that. The first couple times of getting together are okay and actually you can keep up the facade for years if your too busy to get around and see these people too often. But on sustained contact with these type of 'friends' they figure out that your not like them, your not so much fun and your not crazy like they thought and most of them just drift away and are no more to be seen or heard from.
After a few years of owning a business mom and dad learned to be really really cautious of the 'friends' they make.
Ya we have friends, real friends. The friends that stick by you no matter what, that don't expect free stuff, that don't want to party with you all the time. Who really get to know you. Yup we actually do got a few who love and accept us for the great average a lot of times boring people we are.
Moms always willing to give everyone a chance. Dad is always seeing the future of that chance as being a bad idea. mom ever optimistic rarely listens to him when he predicts it will go bad, Dads usually right. But every once in awhile dad is wrong and when he is wrong it really breaks down all the hard work mom has put into convincing him that friends are good to have and not everyone is out to take advantage of you. When dad really lets himself become really close friends with someone if it backfires and they turn out to be mean loser users, it destroys all the hard work mom has put in and she has to work for another 3 or 4 years too change dads mind that not all people who want to be your friends are going to take advantage of you and use you. However after being taken advantage of and used so many times and dad being right so often mom just stopped trying so hard to have friends.
It is hurtful for my mom to have family drifts away. We try to remind her that we are what we are and we can't pretend we are something different even to make family happy. Most family accept each other for what they are and do not ask more than you can give. There are always going to be some that expect and want more than you are able to give. So you accept that and hope that someday they learn to love and accept and even forgive you for who you are and not expect things from you that your not able to give.
We still get out and have fun with people. Once in awhile we even let people get close enough to actually 'know' us. But we are very cautious. And there are still going to be times people drift away because we are not what they thought we were. But that's life I guess.
I like to be just us and the family not have to worry about friends. Okay I don't even like the family part so much but that's just me I can deal with them if they just leave me alone. Mom always says it is good to be socialized whatever the heck that is? I think she means I need to be nicer to others and not always be so defensive and sound like I am going to try and eat them. I am trying I really am and I think I am getting much better at it too!
We live a pretty solitary life, just mom, dad me and Porsha most of the time. It is just easier sometimes.
Bark at ya later!!
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